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  • Writer's pictureTedy Rafailova

“Drunk on love and tears” by Sanjana Basu

Updated: Mar 21, 2020

 “Drunk on love and tears” is Sanjana Basu’s debut book. It’s a non fiction self love and revival book, that I don’t think fits in any other category but “wisdom”.

 Now how do I talk about this book?

 I did not know what to expect because the summary on Amazon did not give away much. Also, I rarely tend to reach for self help books and when I do, I mostly find them boring and useless. That was not the case here!

 The first thing that draw me to it was the cover and the art inside. The illustrations are gorgeous and perfectly paired with the theme.  But a good book is more that her cover. 

 “Drunk on love and tears” talks about many important issues like self esteem, learning your own value and standing for yourself and your right to be happy. 

“Writing to make sure no one feels alone” is Sanjana’s motto. When writing about abuse, neglect and depression, she is drawing from her own experience and that is evident in the book, making it feel very close and personal. 

 The way the book is structured reminds of a mental health treatment plan. You start with narrowing down the problem and finding the source of it, you get some honesty , you make a decision to remove yourself from the toxic environment, and then you start to heal.

“They ask me what they should be doing to look more enticing or more appealing or should they go for a makeover to attract him.  My answer to all of that is very simple. Yes, you should change. You should change your perception. ” (pg. 21, ch.6, part 1)

 This is a conversation I have often with a friend of mine who is very insecure up to the point where she believes no one will ever like her. 

“You don’t have to meet someone’s conditions so that they love you.” (pg. 28, ch.9, part 2)

 And I completely agree with the author here. If you want to slim down, or cut your hair, you should do it because you want it, not because you want someone to want you. 

 This book makes you think and revise previous experiences you had in life, and I think that is very important. 

 In Chapter 9 “No more fireworks” Sanjana describes something that happens in a lot of relationships.

“You feel like something is missing […. ] Even if you’re laughing he doesn’t like the way you laugh.”

 I remember I have felt this way towards people that I once loved.  And I’m not talking strictly about romantic relationships, but also about friendships. 

 Things pile up, little annoyances, and one day you realize you are aggravated with the very thought of this person. I could never understand why was this happening with some people but not with others. And I was convinced that there was something wrong with me. The explanation that Sanjana offers is very simple but true. – “What you are feeling at the moment is a lot like love, but it is not love.”

 The great thing about this book is that the lessons incorporated in it are universal.  They apply to all types of relationships – romantic or non romantic, your relationship with your family and friends, even your colleges and classmates. I feel that this is one of those books that you can return to in different times in your life and you’ll find different things.

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